Fighting is about winning; if you want to win you’ll throw in anything that helps your cause.

5.
A fight must always be about the issue at hand and not about past mistakes. Maybe you don’t need to win, but you don’t want to be wrong.

One of the most common mistakes parents make when disciplining children is yelling, speaking in a harsh and angry tone, or even insulting their children. It’s very difficult not to bring up the past when fighting with a partner. The truth is no one is infallible -- especially new parents.
log in sign up. Parents ask their children to respect them, but they sometimes forget that respect should be a two-way street. Essentially the past is ammunition to bolster the righteousness of your position. My (F21) BF (M23) brings up past mistakes of mine.

1 minute ago.

He gets mad that I bring up his past mistakes to put him down.

You will no doubt come up with a laundry list of things they did wrong.

But I tell him I don't want to be the same as before where I was always available when he needed it, or even when I wasn't available, I just left my school work for later to be with him and deal with my school work when I get the chance.

User account menu • My (F21) BF (M23) brings up past mistakes of mine. Criticizing your partner again and again about something they did a long time ago will keep you both prisoners of a situation that has nothing to do with the present. Healthy teens are going to want to spread their wings and they’ll need to try things on their own. Bringing up past mistakes. Bringing up past mistakes will not allow your partner to grow and learn from them.

We do not need to keep bringing up those past sins and mistakes and disrupting the unity and harmony of our households and our personal friendships. We don’t share our past mistakes. u/dream2bemissed. Think of a child whose mother or father decided to be the mother or father of a friend down … That entire dynamic is gone the moment a man hears another man has had HIS wife. I keep looking back on the past 10 years of my position and can’t help but think of ways I could’ve done my job better or didn’t do certain things the way I did.

The feeling is akin to a child whose mother and father supplies the child with a sense of security and love that only parents can provide.

Same for a man and his wife.

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